Guilt

Lots of it, lots of things, maybe listing them will help...
I haven't written this for two weeks, laziness has gripped me
My parents bought me a laptop for Christmas, I hope I can do well enough now to deserve this.
I didn't think to ask for a student discount when we bought it, could have saved them some money.
I haven't been in touch with two close friends for ages, the longer I leave it, the harder it gets: I missed sending a birthday card to one, and wasn't able to go the wedding of the other
I hardly sent any Christmas cards out, and wasn't able to spend much money on Christmas presents for people.
Last night I missed a friend's pizza party to do babysitting to earn a few pounds, which should have been more important?
I hate January

Okay, the last thing wasn't guilt so much, as maybe the reason for too much brooding. I've been back in Falmouth nearly a week now, with my brand new laptop, and thus access to the wireless internet where I'm renting, but I seem to be gripped with inactivity, and gloom. I've hardly touched the computer, or taken advantage of being on the internet when I like,something I'd been really looking forward to (I have no TV, have to find entertainment somewhere) but only today have I forced myself to open up the dread machine. Stupid really.

There seems to be a fog of depression around, I'm not the only one feeling similarly. Nothing seems good. The story for our Mills and Boon book seems to already have been done; I missed an assignment, the first one all year, and I've not written any of my own work. And I've eaten huge quantities of sugar. My teeth are cursing me.

The only good thing is at last I've got going on this again. I have missed it, Christmas and New Year at home were great, but bad for writing, there was too much else to do, and I fell right out of routine, and am struggling to get it back. It will come. In the meantime, there's a small bag of jelly babies to finish.