Still writing

Once again, not sure what to write, but let's see. Seems like more moans, but this is a way of working things through. A little bit of tension came to the surface today on the course. I think we had all been sensing that there was unhappiness, all of us have been having little moans to each other about some aspects of the course. The main thing seems to be our worries about technology and communications, how they are not always reliable, sometimes late, sometimes wrong. Some class time this morning then was used in talking about this. Part of it is I think that we feel compared to last year's group. I know a lot of great things were done by the students, we don't feel up to all that somehow. When I came for an open day I felt how glowingly last years students spoke of the course, and I think most of us are yet to feel that.
I spoke about something a lot of us have said between us, which was that we felt unprepared for the year: for all the equipment in terms of constant email / Internet access, a laptop we would need. The response was that the tutors assumed we would know this as professional writers. At that I felt very small, inadequate and unprofessional. I don't have a laptop. To be honest, I couldn't afford one in paying for the course. I know now it will be very useful to have one, and that at some point soon I'm going to have to get one. The problem with complaining or criticising is that you expose yourself when you do so. I try to think very carefully before doing so. It's easy to criticise emptily. It's important to back up what you say with a solution, if you have a problem and a valid reason for a criticism.
I hope that we can get over this, things are beginning to feel somewhat fractured amongst us, and there is still tension: the feeling that something is going to be said, something unpleasant. But maybe it needs to be, and we can move on. To end on good note though, I can see through the window of the library the hillsbelow the sky which is pale blue cloud. Framing the scene are trees with sunlight glowing through. A beautiful November day.