Going boldly

Well, I’ve been to the unknown and back again. Oxford was great, I’m really glad I went, and it was a completely different work experience than my previous stints. I think what I’ll do is go through each day at a time, there were so many new things to think about. So many different experiences. It’s strange to be back in Falmouth, feeling like I never left in some ways, but in others that I have changed again. I’m quite disorientated, mentally and physically.

What I realised whilst I was there was that I am now very unsure of my home, and where I belong. I thought I belonged in Wirral, but I’m not sure, nor am I sure that I belong in Falmouth. I found it very easy to settle into another new place, and get into a routine. I am used now to living out of bags and packing my car up and going. Maybe that’s a good thing, I’m not sure. I feel dislocated. I missed the coast, the sea. That was one certainty. I am drawn towards water, and that would be the difficulty if I moved somewhere like Oxford. That was one of the problems I had when I went to Wyoming, it was just too far from the sea, totally land-locked. Which seems strange, but it had an effect on me.

However. The trouble with not writing this for a couple of weeks is that I am now spilling words. It doesn’t help that my laptop has now a problem with the keypad: I can be merrily typing away, and suddenly a load of letters are missing, or the shift key has failed to work.
Feeling out of touch though. It hasn’t helped with the clocks changing either, that always throws me out. And losing an hour of sleep does not make me happy. I guess though that a longer evening makes up for it, and I still have time tonight to go for a walk in daylight.

Walking was one thing I really missed in Oxford; it just wasn’t the same. Partly because there was no seaside - I believe that Oxford is close to being the point in England which is farthest from the coast - and because I was more wary of walking round on my own than I am in Falmouth. That said, I took a few walks through the University parks and into the city. I was staying off Banbury road, which is not far from the centre. I felt safe, not as comfortable as here, but there was no danger. Mum though had other thoughts on this, and phoned me a few times to make sure I was okay and not walking about in the dark. I appreciated her thinking of me, but teased her about it. Then of course I started imagining bad things happening to me, and walked very quickly round the park, regarding everyone who passed me with suspicion. They of course were probably doing the same to me. I have a suspicious stare, a little like Paddington’s.